I’ll miss her look
I can’t control myself, man, I always just go far.
She noticed me today, and i couldn’t understand the feedback from her, she just looked away and back, was she entertained?
Was she disgusted?
Was she creeped?
Was she flattered?
God damn, I hate myself sometimes, and I have no one to talk to about this conundrum.
I didn’t want to be corny and send today’s notes to the group chat, that would have been an obvious pathetic move.
Today was abit gloomy, she added light and warmth to the bedside teaching, hope that she is ok and not sick 🙏
The sole ripped apart from the boot, really sad.
It is quite weird how our souls yearn passionately for human affection from the opposite sex, my whole existence is in shambles when I see her, that smile, that damned smile, it fills me with joy, yet darkness looms as soon as she leaves, knowing that she is far far far away from my grasp; the agony of affection, the torment of waiting, the prospect of love and a happy union, it all dawns and burdens me, god give me strength to endure this ordeal, god oh god grant me patience, give me solace and light my path.
In you my creator I trust, and to you I entrust these sorrowful prayers, fill my soul with your love and calmness, for you are the only being to create life, and you are the only one worthy of our obedience and warship.
God, sometimes i get too excited and do some cringe worthy stuff.
I asked her today to send the lecture notes to the group chat, i feel like an idiot, she did send them though.
When thinking about the possibilities and outcomes of my conundrum, what should I do, I feel like breaking down.
Should I initiate a conversation?
Should I hint my interest? Though the constant glancing is an obvious giveaway!
Should I go by the lame/cheesy way of asking about lecture notes?
Should I even consider talking to her?
What if she doesn’t like me?
What if she is repulsed by me?
What if she ia creeped by me?
My hair looks terrible!
Ahhhhh, so many thoughts and questions, i don’t know what to do or talk?????
I hate myself sometimes 😢